Monday, December 31, 2007

new year

ok here goes my new year resolutions
1-let my hair down more
2-go to Europe
3-i cant think of anything else
i suck at making resolutions anyway coz i never keep them. Tomorrow I will shop till I drop, yay!!!
It is fukubukuro time in japan where they have these things packed into boxes/shopping bags so u can`t see them and they will sell it at a much much much cheaper price than the original...and tada, if ur lucky, u might find something u like...and I am aiming for clothes, accessories and anything I happen to like. Yesterday I saw this HUGE bag containing probably LOTSA beautiful clothes and it is sold at 5000 yen only. Ok ok, I will write about it tomorrow if I manage to get nice ones and if i don`t, well, I`m gonna mourn about it also. If only they pack like uhmm, 6 feet tall, dark-brown haired guy in Armani suit with the most intense brown eyes ever into packages also huh? Don`t laugh k peeps..hehe..

so, the trip to
Europe, I haven't given much thought about it actually..humm...I need a partner, anyone?
Nah, just kidding.

And I wanna go back home to Malaysia!!! I miss it so much. I`m cooped up in the hostel for New Year`s Eve, oh no! I`m turning 21 next year...oh my oh my...I still feel 19 actually..:(

Monday, December 24, 2007

christmas

christmas time is here!!
and i am supposed to wake up early for church tomorrow!.Well, on wednesday I'm having not only one but two dates with old friends! Lunch and dinner...expect me to come back all fattened up yeah coz it is the festive season and I am gonna eat as much as I can!!
I really miss home...wish i dont have to back to japan this friday:(
Anyway, I woke up this morning telling myself, no more being a slouch! I dressed myself nicely, put on concealer, some lip gloss, my contacts, and waxed my hair....and I just feel so good today. Usually, most of the time I would neglect my appearance but not today..

It is almost too fast. Like the speed of light. Why is the timing always like this. It keeps repeating itself time after time. I must stop this vicious cycle. Why in that place, out of the blue? How did you know? Did you sense my sadness?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

a day before going back home

wow...it has been like 8 months since i first arrived in Japan. Little did I know how my life would turn out that time. When I first arrived, I was happy, sad,excited...mixed emotions. Everything looked so promising, so rosy....
But Japan is not all that. Yes, sure, it opened my eyes to new things. I entered a public bath, I shopped a lot, I cooked on my own for the first time(!!), I traveled around Japan`s famous spots.

Sometimes when I think back about the yesteryears..
There are some things that I wish I had not said..There are some things I wish I could take it back..
Make it much better. Undo it. And every time my I cry, thinking about how to get through the night, every single memory that crossed my mind, every hurdle life has thrown at me.
I`m thankful for every scar, visible or invisible, because it made me much stronger. And I am probably the weakest person you will ever know. But there is no easy way out. I learned it the hard way last time. And maybe just maybe some signs I ignored, opportunities I passed on, people I hurt without intention. But it is all in the past. And I can`t go back in time to erase it.
But like what someone said to me, mistakes cannot be erased easily. I can`t say that I won`t make the same mistakes anymore. But I will try.And now I`m taking baby steps to be me again.The road might be long and winding, or short and easy who knows, but I know now I am heading there...
And thanks to my Mom and Dad..who truly loves me, supports me. Thanks for standing by me, cheering me up when I`m down. I used to rebel a lot but now I realize you did it out of love. And i do love you both a lot. Also to my friends who supported me and loved me through it all..

Monday, December 17, 2007

Your smile is almost too familiar
Your scent, well, u smell fresh, almost like a baby
And your eyes, they are cute, too cute in fact
I really want to see your eyelashes ( a bit scary yeah who cares? I like eyelashes, fake or otherwise)
And your fingers, will they hold mine tight..or will the grasp loosen if I hold yours?
And the way you wrote the way you sit the way u moisten ur lips, they remind me too much of someone who held my heart once...

The thing above is just something i created. Don`t jump to conclusions, guys.
I imagined it all in my head. Yeah, pathetic but what to do..
Syilah if ur reading this, Ikuta Toma has a new drama..hehehe...I think la..
I`m fine in fact.
I`m going back home this weekend, yay!!
ok back to reports...