Sunday, September 27, 2009

chest matter

Okay, so many girls out there complain about the size of their boobs. Specifically, how small they are. As for me, it is the other end of the spectrum. No, no, mine is not huge or something.It is just normal-sized. Nevertheless, I cannot wear those tight buttoned-down shirts because the space between the buttons tend to be quite revealing. For the record, I love buttoned-down shirts. Not the really tight ones la, but not so loose either. Even then, I cannot really wear them. Sigh. I used to be very shy of my chest because people tend to tease me about it. Now, I don't really think about it so much unless I catch people staring at it. Case in point, my teacher. I was wearing a tight t-shirt one day and I caught him staring, maybe accidentally but still, I think he was staring at them. I can't do anything about my chest because it's genetics. Look at my face not my chest, haha! Ok la, I know my face is nothing to be amazed about. Girls everywhere, be proud of your bosom, no matter how big or small they are. They are God-given, and nothing to be ashamed about!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Back from Hiatus

It has been a while eh. I write only when I am in the mood, so u can say I wasn't really in the mood last month because I was back in Malaysia(yay!) Met up with my dearest friends. You guys rock my world! Of course, my parents, I couldn't ask for a better Mom or Dad. I know I always fight with my dad(more like everytime I go back) and he doesn't always give in to my every wishes so u cannot call me a Daddy's girl..but he has always tried to protect me(sometimes too much) and he did the best he could for me. I always wish that I was born a boy so that I can follow his footsteps:) My mom, she used to be strict with me and we did not always have much money growing up. She has always persevered and she never gave up on me, no matter what. This post is getting way too personal, hmm.

It is back to school and I have this presentation coming up in two weeks time. I am in the process of getting the slides done and it is really a lot of work but I will persevere and show em' that I am able to do this. Even if I do not pull it off, I hope I can be satisfied knowing I've tried my very best.

These days I question myself. What is love? Does it mean accepting someone as they are, or trying to show that special person how much you love them, be it in words or actions? Last week was a personal turmoil for me. I cried, feeling lost on what I should do. I am a tense person,I think. Love is not supposed to be smooth sailing but I do want to feel that on a deeper level, that this is going to go further than all my relationships. I still have doubts, more like doubting my ability to restrain myself from feeling needy. There are times when I felt I was let down. One,especially, is etched forever in my memory. I look around and I see other guys with their significant others but I was always left alone, especially after the 6-month-mark. Am I that insignificant? Am I not pretty or cute enough? Am I too needy? But that doesn't mean that he is all bad, just not for me. I am pretty sure he is happy right now. Away from me, the needy,pushy, demanding, crybaby girl he dated. . In my case, I think now I am able to forgive but not really forget. I have wronged so many in the past too and I ask for forgiveness. I am not all that good either. I wished I knew how to play the game of love. I wish there are specific set of rules that if followed, will bring us to happiness. But nothing like that exists, for sure. All I can hope right now is that, come what may, I hope for more good memories of love, sharing, giving and receiving.(quoting Joey from Friends)