Jolly Joceline

i just wanna understand what i am studying

2010-07-01T01:04:00.000-07:00

Well yeah I am a nerd. I want to really understand what I'm studying. But my brain just refused to cooperate with me. The words are all a blur to me. Maybe I should put in more effort.

exercise

2010-01-04T06:16:00.000-08:00

Wah, 2 posts in day. Joceline, you are on fire. What happened to letting the blog die, you may ask? I will just write ditzy stuff in here while in my heart and soul, therein lies my deepest thoughts. Exercise is very important but I am not getting enough of it. I know can do yourself like stretching and aerobics and all that. I used to do it everyday. Um, like 3 years ago. Now, I prefer sitting in front of the computer wasting my time away on whatever that holds my attention at that moment in time. This is not right! Also, I've since resumed cooking and oh my gosh, tried some recipes and those recipes aren't really healthy for the waist. Must get moving. Yes, that is my new year's resolution. Only one, that is, must exercise. Joining a gym here is so expensive. I don't know if I will have much free time in university later also. Senior told me that mini exams are abundant. For 3 years I've been spoiled rotten by Oyama teachers. Well, not really, my sotsuken teacher is a bit strict but then again, he is much much more lenient compared to university teachers. Just an assumption though.

If everything goes well, as in I am able to graduate from this college, yay, I will treat myself to a nice present.Muahsss...

zits

2010-01-04T06:03:00.000-08:00

Why are there so many zits on my forehead. Seriously, I've tried eating well, no sugar or dairy but I still get zits on the forehead. I wish I can achieve internal peace(is this even a real term??), or peace within your mind. Because I've been failing so far. Maybe that is why those zits pop up in the first place. The most annoying thing about them(the zits, duh) is that they are so small that you cannot pick on them(of course you should not pick on them-number one rule) but then again they are noticeable. Very annoying la. So far, major improvement after I incorporated more fruits into my diet. Ya, only I can say this la because I am highly sensitive to any blemishes on my face. But, honestly, holistic approach is the best one out there. Expensive skincare, forget about that, they don't do anything for me. Burn a hole in my wallet, that is the only thing they do.My obsession with skincare has led me to try the famous egg mask. Well you definitely can feel the skin tightening and it's just a quick fix but since it is all natural and cheap( just an egg will do!),I highly recommend this. There are many videos out there in youtube that teaches it, so, check it out.

Maybe i'm amazed

2010-01-02T04:45:00.000-08:00

This gorgeous song written by former Beatle, Paul for his wife Linda has always been a favourite of mine. It has this edgy feel to it making it different from your standard schmaltzy love song. This has got to be one of my all time favourites. I am thinking of letting this blog die for a while. Lately, been writing a lot but saved it in the draft. What is the point then? Mostly, vanity posts but also some heavy emotional stuff that I prefer to keep close to my own heart.

Beijing

2010-01-01T03:08:00.000-08:00

The Beijing trip was a short but very memorable. I have a great companion with me and great food and I got to see the Great Wall of China with my own eyes and also climb it. It was very steep but the feeling on top(not the peak but still quite high up there) was indescribable. My hands were freezing but I don't think I can ever forget the mentally captured image in my head, ever.
The food was really yummy but I think I ate too much or I haven't eaten greasy food in a long time that I ended up with a stomach upset the next day. But it was worth it because it's so delicious!

the time traveler's wife

2009-12-01T01:41:00.000-08:00

I read the novel before I watch the movie because when novels are being adapted to the big screen, you can be certain that the director, writers etc will tweak it a little bit or a lot so that the movie will appeal to the masses, or in other words, sell a lot of tickets. For me, the novel was very entertaining. I am a hopeless romantic and I love how the novel portrays a simple love story in a different light. It's slightly mushy but nevertheless, for an eternal romantic like me, it tastes like hot chocolate on a rainy day. Safe, warm, comfortable, and endorphin-inducing. The movie, well as almost all adaptations do, did try its best to be as true as possible to the book. I think it's sweet and for someone who read the novel beforehand, well, it's so much easier to pinpoint and savour each scene. I am not too sure what I would think of the movie if I did not read the novel. Maybe slightly unclear on some parts. They changed the ending too. Oh well, it still managed to make me shed a tear or two. Very melodramatic. Love makes the world go round, doesn't it? And when Hollywood churn out these kind of movies, where the lead male/hero appears to be sensitive to his girlfriend's feelings, caring and all around the perfect guy, it's almost unbelievable. And you start wishing for one yourself. But, of course, perfection only exists in the fantasy world. Oh, but a girl can wish, can't she?

strangers in the night

2009-11-18T03:43:00.000-08:00

wow..the strangest dream ever...

Under the blanket

2009-11-16T23:44:00.000-08:00

The cold season is approaching and although I hate how my hands get very cold when I am outside or even inside if the heater is not on, there is something somber about the mood of winter that somehow just feels right. Or wrong, at times. It depends on a variety of things to determine my mood. Mostly, I am happy, or I convince myself to be. After all, life consists of so many wonderful things to rejoice about. The laughter of children, babies smiling at you making your hearts flutter, whispering sweet nothings to your loved ones. But I am also nervous. Nervous about the scholarship extension, nervous(but excited) about the future and everything in between. But if there is any place I want to be right now, it's home. Home where you can be you.

chest matter

2009-09-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, so many girls out there complain about the size of their boobs. Specifically, how small they are. As for me, it is the other end of the spectrum. No, no, mine is not huge or something.It is just normal-sized. Nevertheless, I cannot wear those tight buttoned-down shirts because the space between the buttons tend to be quite revealing. For the record, I love buttoned-down shirts. Not the really tight ones la, but not so loose either. Even then, I cannot really wear them. Sigh. I used to be very shy of my chest because people tend to tease me about it. Now, I don't really think about it so much unless I catch people staring at it. Case in point, my teacher. I was wearing a tight t-shirt one day and I caught him staring, maybe accidentally but still, I think he was staring at them. I can't do anything about my chest because it's genetics. Look at my face not my chest, haha! Ok la, I know my face is nothing to be amazed about. Girls everywhere, be proud of your bosom, no matter how big or small they are. They are God-given, and nothing to be ashamed about!

Back from Hiatus

2009-09-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

It has been a while eh. I write only when I am in the mood, so u can say I wasn't really in the mood last month because I was back in Malaysia(yay!) Met up with my dearest friends. You guys rock my world! Of course, my parents, I couldn't ask for a better Mom or Dad. I know I always fight with my dad(more like everytime I go back) and he doesn't always give in to my every wishes so u cannot call me a Daddy's girl..but he has always tried to protect me(sometimes too much) and he did the best he could for me. I always wish that I was born a boy so that I can follow his footsteps:) My mom, she used to be strict with me and we did not always have much money growing up. She has always persevered and she never gave up on me, no matter what. This post is getting way too personal, hmm.

It is back to school and I have this presentation coming up in two weeks time. I am in the process of getting the slides done and it is really a lot of work but I will persevere and show em' that I am able to do this. Even if I do not pull it off, I hope I can be satisfied knowing I've tried my very best.

These days I question myself. What is love? Does it mean accepting someone as they are, or trying to show that special person how much you love them, be it in words or actions? Last week was a personal turmoil for me. I cried, feeling lost on what I should do. I am a tense person,I think. Love is not supposed to be smooth sailing but I do want to feel that on a deeper level, that this is going to go further than all my relationships. I still have doubts, more like doubting my ability to restrain myself from feeling needy. There are times when I felt I was let down. One,especially, is etched forever in my memory. I look around and I see other guys with their significant others but I was always left alone, especially after the 6-month-mark. Am I that insignificant? Am I not pretty or cute enough? Am I too needy? But that doesn't mean that he is all bad, just not for me. I am pretty sure he is happy right now. Away from me, the needy,pushy, demanding, crybaby girl he dated. . In my case, I think now I am able to forgive but not really forget. I have wronged so many in the past too and I ask for forgiveness. I am not all that good either. I wished I knew how to play the game of love. I wish there are specific set of rules that if followed, will bring us to happiness. But nothing like that exists, for sure. All I can hope right now is that, come what may, I hope for more good memories of love, sharing, giving and receiving.(quoting Joey from Friends)

Being sentimental and the end of an era

2009-07-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

I am a sentimental kinda person, more so when I was younger. I will keep cards,stuff, books, textbooks, handicrafts, letters, anything that holda special place in my heart, no matter how crowded my room gets.
I came across an article in yahoo about 100 things that the future generation will probably never know about. Our need for faster, smaller, cooler, better things are slowly taking over the things we grew up with. The word slowly maybe an understatement because at the rate technology is developing now, those things that once were a source of joy and entertainment to us would probably be rendered extinct soon enough.

I'll always remember the days of VHS, cassettes, handwritten letters, laser discs(haha I watched My Girl with this)I may not be born in the era of vinyl records but I had a few back at home. What else..hmm? Encylopedia-the equivalent of a wikipedia. I myself really enjoyed reading wiki a lot but when I was young, the Encyclopedia for Kids was such a fun read. I am pretty sure one day we will find ourselves wondering about the bygone era. That is when we will smile, I hope, knowing that there were simpler times.

2009-07-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was young and even though they are not so rich, but they manage to provide me the thing I needed the most. Love. Heck, I can even say I was spoiled. Not with toys or anything, I never have those in abundance, just a few. I miss how she will cook porridge for me everyday without fail. I miss her taking me to school using the bus. I miss him spoiling me and comforting me when people scolded me. As I am slowly learning now, nothing in life is as important as family. No matter what you do and who you are, there are the ones that are going to stand by you through thick and thin. So if you think you haven't talk to your parents in a long while or even ur grandparents, call them and tell them that you do still care. They sacrificed a lot for you. I know mine did.

2009-06-24T06:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder and think if this is really what it is, they why don't i feel differently. There are thousands of valid reasons and maybe, that is all the explanation I need to just stop thinking about it anymore. To just be myself and slave to no one, not even money or time. No, I am sorry. Sorry for this and for every single thing. The timing, the sheer madness of it all is wearing me down.

of sotsuken and whatnots

2009-06-17T02:48:00.000-07:00

Sotsuken(graduation research??) is tiring, that I can tell you. It is time-consuming, without a doubt. On the other hand, there is a sense of accomplishment if it is successful. Though I am a lot busier these days, when the day is done, I look back and say, what a day indeed! I wonder if this enthusiasm of mine will fade as time passes by. Oh and I think my wisdom tooth is coming out again. (I took the other out last year) I think I am going to see the dentist to see if he can extract this one as well. It is not that I hated my wisdom tooth or anything. It is just plain annoying and it might be a real headache as u grow older and to people who had had braces before, it is better to extract it. I am not sure exactly why but it might disturb the alignment of your teeth. There goes all the dentist visits and thin metal rod pulling the teeth together(indescribable pain, I can attest to that) Also, the humiliation suffered every time u laugh or talk or kiss.I did not have a boyfriend during high school so I will not know about the kissing part. If anyone can enlighten me, I will be happy. The sun ain't shining that much these days isn't it. So, peeps, do not forget the ever-important umbrella okay. Shine or rain, that is your best friend. I'm getting darker these days also. Let's lather on the sunscreen, girls!!

The journey starts here

2009-06-14T20:51:00.000-07:00

It is over for me, for now at least. I passed the exam and next year I will be transferring to Nokodaiー東京農工大学. But life in itself is a lifelong education process. It does not stop here that is for sure. I am looking forward to next year, for this and so many other wonderful reasons.

2009-05-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

I notice lately I am putting on weight especially around that belly area. So in order to get a hot body for the summer so I can fit into those pretty pretty looking bikinis they have on sale, I have to get to in shape by doing EXERCISE. I am not a big fan of exercise. I did some la in PPKTJ but in Japan, not so much. But after the exams are over, I will get down to business. I hope.
My preferred form of exercise: jogging, walking briskly, more jogging, cycling?, maybe i will take up swimming again in malaysia...what else is good? pilates? maybe.

2009-05-21T20:44:00.000-07:00

they say that friendship between two girls is complicated. for me thankfully i have someone who is willing to unravel all that. she is someone i met when i was 15 and we have our ups and downs and now finally we manage to find a common ground. but actually we found that out long time ago la. I call her sometimes and we talk until the credit habis ahaha.and seriously, that for me has been therapeutic than ofuro. i have very few close friends and she is one of them and one of the closest. thanks dear, u mean so much to me u know. glad having u in my life:)

another would be my childhood buddy. although i cannot answer most of ur questions in facebook, there are some things which i think i can answer. like how u broke ur arm(left) when u were young. like how u used to ask people to call u a certain name. like how u used to have this red mini car that we used to drive and usually ur the driver. haha. and how we would play till the sunset. do u remember how simpler those days were. remember titanic? remember the book of celebs? i used to envy u for having an electronic dictionary. i wanted one so much but i was too shy to ask from u to play with it. but when i was so naive, u were my reality ground, the pillar i lean on, u were always the stronger one. thanks for everythg. cannot write all those things we shared together. shy.hehe

2009-05-21T04:47:00.001-07:00

Why this guy always have to rely on me for reports. I mean those are simple calculations what....Ish..Do I look like Santa to u? I already told u that u should at least try to do some. But still u argggh! Patience Joceline. Only two more months and this will be over. Oh I am talking about experiment reports. My partner copies mine every week. Siao.
Sometimes I think what if I fail 農工大。I am nervous. No, I am more than nervous. Like a huge bundle of nerves. But still can find time to watch youtube and friends. Hey Joceline get to work la.

2009-05-12T01:26:00.001-07:00

There is no turning back now. I am definitely taking the suisen to nokodai.Paid the lump sum of 30000man multiply 3 and im so much poorer now but that is not even the main obstacle. Give me the strength God. I know I will be okay but I have to prepare for the worst.

2009-05-07T02:41:00.000-07:00

so tell me, if you feel that there is constant power struggle in a relationship, do u somehow take that as a challenge to better yourself or will it lower your self-esteem even more? sigh

dashboard confessional-stolen

2009-05-04T08:19:00.000-07:00

We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

You have stolen
You have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel

You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart

nothing whatsoever to do with my feelings ok. People stop jumping to conclusions.Tee hee

2009-04-30T00:18:00.000-07:00

I am tired, of thinking, of studying, well but i still have a month to go. I must go on. Why la i want to masuk nokodai so much. It is not that I have an overwhelming passion for chemistry or engineering. I can always take the easy way out, or in other words, choosing a university with a lower 倍率. I can always take Udai(nobody is taking it in my class) Utsunomiya University is next to a freaking huge shopping small, highly convenient, accessible, near Oyama and basically it's not so bad. I'm not as good as my classmates(four of them are taking noko suisen too), not as good as my seniors, and certainly not as good as my batchmates. What the hell, I am not even good at anything!!! Serious lack of self-esteem here. But I was hoping nokodai's curriculum would help me in 2 year's time when I apply for _______.Not telling you guys but that is my secret dream. Laughable, highly impossible, but still a dream ok. That is what I've always wanted and that is what I aim to achieve la. But if I can't, it is still ok. I'll just grab whatever opportunity that comes along. Or I can adopt a child and fuss over him/her. If someone wants to have a child with me, that's great too. And then I'll proceed to decorating my house and try to be the best cook ever, for my family. This is getting way too personal, see ya.

2009-04-27T00:47:00.000-07:00

bla bla entropy..gibbs, life, late night telephone calls, mood swings, being negative, being positive, tired, happy, love, parents, money, thinking of home, Bali, beaches, holding hands, watching sunset
makumari, kameyama sensei, research, nokodai, gunma, gidai, celeb gossips, Uni of Pennsylvania, Vera Wang, miu miu handbags..

2009-04-24T06:56:00.000-07:00

wahhhh i loved this song when i was in primary 3(4?)
guess it was the catchy tune!

2009-04-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

Played joshi sakka(soccer for ladies) today. After like a gazillion years of not exercising, finally, I feel a bit energized in the sense that blood is pumping, the adrenaline is rushing and on top of it all, I had fun. But my soccer skills are abysmal, at most. But in terms of having fun, this is probably one of the best I've had in recent times. LALALALALA...I want to have more fun!Ok off to shower and sotsuken...mUah, kisses and hugs to everyone! I'm a hugger. I like to be hugged. Hugs are the best thing in the world. Apart from kisses. Slow kisses. Ok too much info there:P

2009-04-22T03:56:00.000-07:00

So what if I'm not like you. Stop it. Fuck what others think. I don't need your acknowledgment of me. (well it's a whole different story if you are my dad, mom, family members, close friends or teachers) As far as I am concerned, I have a less than perfect life but I like it just the way it is. But sigh, things are easier said than done. I care about what others think about me. I should adopt a more fearless attitude, and I shall do that (or at least try to). Ironically, in an article published somewhere, most of the time people are so preoccupied with their own problems to notice others anyway. So why bother? I sound angry but the way I am feeling right now, that is probably the least accurate word to describe me. The only word to describe me now is hopeful, wistful, soul-searching, plain Jane..etc. Ah why am I blogging on a constant basis nowadays.
I love school as an institution. It gives me a sense of purpose, but lately is it right to define or value yourself in terms of academic achievements? Aren't other values such as compassion, caring, kind, patient, loving, forgiving weigh as heavy, if not more? How about monetary value, is it politically correct to say money is the all important thing in life? I, for one, think it is important but not surpassing others such as written above.

2009-04-19T20:42:00.000-07:00

So many many many thanks to my dearest friend who sent me a very pretty, chic blouse all the way from the fashion capital of the world. A bit exaggerating there by the way, you may refute that K. The thing with me lately is that I'm extremely stressed but thanks to a few friends I am faring better these days. Apart from the fact that my throat is not feeling 100percent, I think I'm ok. I've decided that what really matters is having those close to you giving you their utmost support.
Also, I think I am ready to put everything behind once and for all now. Life is funny but I think I'm glad with how it has turned out thus far. Funny but strange. All I am thinking about now is going back home, maybe a trip to Sabah, and be with people who lifts me up, care for me as I do them. I've got to make a heavy decision which might hurt someone I really care about deeply. I do care. I am always going to.

2009-03-20T02:12:00.001-07:00

Wah it has been ages since i dropped by here. For that same reason, my friend (yes i am looking at u K) thought i had ceased to exist. But we chatted last night and all is well again. So my schedule lately is so and so, study-sleep-eat. But as for the studying part, I really have no clue on how to progress. I think I am progressing but I actually am not. I am just stuck here and there. Inferiority complex starts to kick in my nerves and I picked up Sophie's Choice, dwelling in its sarcasm and wit. I am not bored, I am in love, I am not in love, I am bored,emotions is a tricky element. Vanishing Acts was emotionally draining to read and the ending is a happy one albeit leaving us to wonder what will happen next. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was a curious affair, one that presented us of a viewpoint of life in reverse. Or go-stan, as Malaysians termed it. For once, maybe, just maybe, you might be the perfect match:)

2009-02-17T22:11:00.001-08:00

I want to watch this movie so much!
Basically I like the plot and I think the on-screen couple chemistry is pretty strong here. Jessica Aniston and Ben Affleck are so perfect for each other.

i got tagged

2009-02-17T21:43:00.000-08:00

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1. I can get pretty industrial when it comes to cleaning the kitchen.
2. I prefer fish over red meat but i can have both.
3. I used to have only apples for lunch. I don't do that anymore. Now, I have a healthier appetite.
4. I'm obsessed with Sex and the City.
5. I keep my nails short, ALL the time. How short? Very short.I prefer it that way although longer nails probably look nicer.
6. I don't really take spicy food. If it is too spicy, I might have a date with the toilet later.
7. I have dark circles under my eyes and it is not caused by lack of sleep! It's in my genes. Horrible as it looks, I have to live with it.
8. I like tulips.
9. I like pastel colours.
10. I cry when I watch sad movies.
11. I have oily skin.sigh.
12. I can't swim. Tried learning but stopped halfway. Another big sigh.
13. I am not good at sports. But I know exercise is good for health.
14. I don't classify myself as a neat freak but I would like some semblance of order in my room.
15. Hopeless romantic.
16. I am quite the recluse if I am not familiar with someone. I think I am shy.
17. I want to buy a house right now(although this is impossible)
18. I am wary of everyone. But I try not to judge.
19. I am absent-minded.
20. I miss my childhood. Lyssa, are u reading this?? Yeah I miss those carefree days of playing badminton and games we played.
21. I want to visit Hokkaido during wintertime.
22. I think I dream every single night. It is very rare if I don't dream. Some dreams are more vivid than others.
23. I am getting closer to 25.
24. I just finished my exams and I am so relieved!
25. I am thinking of someone right now<3

exam stress

2009-01-13T20:29:00.000-08:00

Yeah it has been stressful for me too. I bet that kosen 4th year students are all thinking about it. Those that are thinking of furthering their studies, that is. Jukken or suisen. Both have its pros and cons. Jukken means sitting for exams and suisen is entry via recommendation, likely much easier but there are no 100 percent guarantee to pass. All of this decision would be much easier if money is not involved, right guys?This is not only testing the limits of our brain, it is also digging deeper into our pockets, hehe. Cause exams don't come cheap baby. We suffer and we pay for it has a whole new meaning now, don't they?
Wow, one paragraph and nothing is concerning studies and the stress that comes with it. I will touch on that now. My brain is not build like Albert Einstein's and I'm no math genius. I did try my best to understand though. I gave it a shot. And I feel even more hopeless as I realized that EVERY single word counts. 実数、整数， as my senior explained to me yesterday has a profound impact. I felt dizzy as I realized my basics are very rapuh, for lack of a better word. Big big sigh.
頑張るしかないんだ。I should have paid more attention during Maths lessons.

korea

2009-01-06T22:28:00.000-08:00

there are lots more pictures but here are few good ones. Note to self: buy a better camera or travel with someone with a good camera. All of the pics are from someone else`s camera, my pics are just blah! Kudos to them->joyce joann, mayching, xinning, kelly, pikyee, tang yii, kaining, wanying, chi wern and vincent. lastly,thanks for the company!!!

2009-01-04T04:52:00.000-08:00

The holidays are coming to an end. And I still find myself feeling lethargic even after 12 hours of sleep. I`m wondering if my friends visit this blog anymore. I`m just not into blogging that much for now, at least. Maybe because I just cannot arrange my thoughts into a proper sentence anymore. I would rather keep my thoughts to myself.
By the way, Korean food was so so delicious that I dreamed of it last night. I miss it so much. I had so much fun in Korea despite the cold because the food tasted heavenly spicy and the shopping, oh dear, it`s so cheap! Forever 21, hello!! The cute Korean prison tour volunteer, skating, food, palaces, great company, shopping(!!!), more food=great fun!
Now it`s back to school. Back to school life. Back to reality. I don`t dread it all. I just dread how time just flies away. I want to treasure every little moment more from now on.2008 was a year that I learned a lot about myself. Hopefully, 2009 will be better:)

Tag!

2008-10-26T01:18:00.000-07:00

Tagged by syaza so i guess here it is!

(i)Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

Starting time : 1715
Name : Joceline
Sisters : 0
Brothers : 1
Shoe size : 24.5 cm
Height : 158 cm
Where do you live : oyama

Have you ever fallen asleep at school: oh yes, countless of times but usually i would not if i can help it..
Broken someone's heart : yeah i think so.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yeah been there done that, i thought it was love then but it wasn`t

Who was were the last person you danced with : my little brother
Last made you smile: nama harumaki yum yum
You last yelled at :hellpppp meeee

Random
Do you like your hand-writing: it is really messy actually
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: the king`s bed
Are you a friendly person : not really, more to reclusive kinda girl
Do you have any pets : i have a dog at home
What are you doing right now : reports and math exercises
Can you handle the truth: not really but i try to suck my pride
Are you closer to your mother or father: both
Do you eat healthy: yeah i guess.. i avoid fried food as much as i could...but occasional treats are okay
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : my mommy and bestie

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
when i was 11..i was acting like any kid should..having fun

5 places I am living in ( places I've lived in since i was born till current)
(1) miri

(2) kuching

(3) kuala lumpur

(4) oyama

5 people I tag
yin2

asyilah

lyssa

anyone else

(ii)
1. The person who last tag you is:
syaza

2. Your relationship with him/her is:
friend

3. Your five impression of him/her:
tall, slim, a bit crazy at times, carefree, playful

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
ahh, i noe this and i think she noes too..the heart to heart thing

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you:
well her acts are memorable...hehe

6. If he/she become your lover, you will:
muaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

7. If he/she become your enemy, you will:
no no difficult situation..

8. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be:
nahhh

9. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is..
kiss her on the cheek:)

10. Your overall impression of him/her is:
tall slim syaza

11. How you think people around you will feel about you?:
health and hygiene freak

12. The characters you love of yourself are:
hardworking and determined

13. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are:
emotional and a slightly bad temper

14. The most ideal person you want to be is:
a best friend and good girlfriend

15. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you:

imma gonna pass on this
gotta go now !!!

2008-10-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

Days passed by like a blur to me. And now I`m taking a break from all of the rushing, reports, homeworks, exercises. I need focus and concentration. Sigh. I need a hobby. Or that feeling you get after sweating it all out. ah, splendid. I think I`m not writing as much anymore. No zest left in me. I have lots to share but not here, not now. Hehe. I want to go to Disneysea. (And I had been there twice already!) Later, peeps. And thanks K for the appreciation post.:)

long absence

2008-09-30T03:54:00.000-07:00

Absence makes the heart grow fonder isn`t it? Oh my gosh, I rearranged my room and guess what, the bed totally broke down. I don`t even know how to describe it properly but suffice to say i can never use it again..I`m not sure what to write here except my thoughts lately are jumbled up, unfocused, confused. But there are also some happy thoughts and emotions. Ahh, better get to work.

chatuchak

2008-09-11T19:21:00.001-07:00

This is an overdue one but well here goes nothing. I'm not really in the mood to post anything actually. But if there is anything i can tell u about bangkok, well it's never complete without a visit to chatuchak. HUGEEEE market selling everything, i mean almost everything, from pets, clothes, art stuff, hand made designs, food, drinks, men's shirts, decors for your home the list is endless. I wanna take some pictures but I was shopping like crazy till I forgot. Well, one thing about chatuchak is that if you find anything you like, buy it straight away. You may never find the shop again because there are too many people around and you'll be sweating mad cause it really feels like sauna there. But the clothes I can tell you girls, are absolutely gorgeous, and best of all cheaper and bargain-able. I want to go back again someday on my own(if i got the moolah that is). You probably don't need a tour guide in Bangkok but do figure out the places you want to see before you go.

bangkok

2008-08-29T03:37:00.000-07:00

I'm now in Bangkok. For two days already actually with my dad. Well, it is really one huge city that you've gotta see for yourself. Most people have already been here I guess but this is my first time in Bangkok. At first glance, it is almost like KL but well, I can tell you now it is ttotally different. I don't go to those famous temples cause it's quite far away and actually I just wanted to shop(hehe) But suprisingly I onlybought a pair of sandals for 100 baht(RM 10). But the stuff are cheaper than KL for sure. That's all for my purchase. But tomorrow is weekend and weekend means Chatujak Weekend Market. Probably do lotsa shopping there. Not many pictures from me, but I will load them up later (mostly pictures of my hotel! more about this cute hotel later) I went to Patpong, Pratunam and Ratchaprasong shopping district. It is a bit similar to Petaling Street. But there are some huge shopping malls around the area that caters to the rich and famous too (labels labels labels) Also, I noticed that shrines are very common here in shopping malls, in front of the hotel, even in the hotel I'm staying which probably means most Thais are God-fearing folks. Besides all that shopping I also ventured into the red-light district. Nothing suprising here, just girls wearing very very skimpy bikinis standing or gyrating on the pole. Not that erotic la. Ok that's all for now. Chow!

Perception

2008-08-18T06:02:00.000-07:00

We always build our perception towards someone based on what we see, think, heard and read. I`m like that too. We easily assume something because that`s how things work. We love to label people. Smart, beautiful, slut, brainy, cute, handsome..associating someone with an adjective becomes a necessity so we can remember them better. It comes naturally to us human beings.
People read too much into written stuff. We like to read between the lines, in hoping of breaking the cryptic message laid before us. We like to envision ourselves as the super sleuth portrayed in the comics we read when we were young. But sometimes, what if there is no meaning, nothing cryptic, nothing secretive about it. It`s simply written in the spur of the moment. I don`t like to edit my writings except if it is super sensitive. I want to rant too sometimes if I`m pissed but then again I stop myself from going overboard. Because anger subsides. And u may not feel tomorrow the way u feel today.

hokkaido

2008-08-18T02:04:00.000-07:00

the reason I`ve been MIA-->hokkaido..pics galore
hokkaido was splendid, simply gorgeous, mouth-watering delicious seafood in abundance...

Lonely Polar bear in asahiyama zoo
penguins!!!!

dreamy, romantic

Oonuma Park Some friendly rabbits we met at Oonuma Park

Chocolate Factory (yummy factory)

Farm Tomita-the lavenders withered already but still gorgeous nonetheless

Farm Tomita again

Hakodate hakodate night view

sunset

hakodate

Thanks a loooooot to my very own tour guide, chang yuan and arif for showing us around hakodate and william sempai for letting us crash in ur house.

2008-08-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

恋に落ちたい。。。

2008-07-31T01:32:00.000-07:00

It is just weird how things turn out sometimes. One minute you`re like trying ur best to run away from the something and the next minute you`re completely charmed by it.
Winter nights are soooo cold and lonely and I hated it so much. Summer nights, I`ll remember them forever...

2008-07-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my cousin the other day and she was telling me about her university. Well, most Malaysian public universities are huge..and she told me about how fit she is going to be after four years because of the walking around the campus.haha. well, that is not really a bad thing though.
I`d always dreamed of the exact same thing..huge campus area with lush green surroundings, people having study group outdoors (but since it is so hooottt in Malaysia I doubt that this is possible. Most people prefer indoors with aircons blowing cool air. To my dearest cousin, this is beginning of another chapter of your life. All the best dear.

driving test

2008-07-11T03:16:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me well will agree on the fact that I totally suck in handling machines. That`s why in the previous post, I said that my passing the driving test I sat for when I was 17 years old was a fluke. It took me 3 freaking months to master the whole motion of driving..3 months!!When most of my friends took 2 months or less. The teacher wasn`t a big help either in terms of moral support. She was a good teacher no offense, but she berated me so many times by saying I will never be able to drive well, and that I am terribly slow. I know I am all the things she said, that I do not deny. But at least, I tried my very best. So anyway, after those 3 months I told her I gotta take the driving test immediately because I had to go to KL for studies, she grudgingly signed the paper to allow me to take the test. The thing is I almost failed if it wasn`t because of an incredible stroke of luck. No, I did not bribe anyone. I was unusually calm and confident and quick-minded that day. What a departure from my old bundle-of-nerves self. So, the decision I took that day saved me and my face ..hehe:P The decision was to not to give up when I mounted the slope. Anyone who took the test surely knows this: you have to stop on the yellow line before accelerating and going down the slope. I just barely touched the yellow line. I thought I was really going to fail by then. But I remembered what my instructor told me before (i can`t recall it now actually) and ta-da, I passed!

TGI Fridays

2008-07-11T00:55:00.000-07:00

Let`s see. I`m going back next month!!! Yay, I heard they are having Malaysian Mega Sale now. Apalagi, buy la. Midvalley Megamall-must go..One Utama..must go also..I need a shopping partner..hmm. Ok maybe window shopping would do just fine. Next stop would be food, food and more food. I sooo wanted to eat those ridiculously cheap Malaysian delicacies. I know that with the recent fuel hike, things might become a bit pricey. So because I have this urge to do meme today, i might as well try it.

1. Do you believe in ‘if you love a person, set him/he free’?
I guess so, it is hard but life ain`t fair.

2. Your dream wedding?

In a beautiful garden of an old castle somewhere in Scotland...yeah a dream that will never come true. But hey look the question was about a dream wedding!

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?

Lots!but most of all I want to go home.

4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?

I have so many dreams, can`t choose

5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Yeah, it is proven to be true rite?

6. What will make you twirl in your room and roll on your bed and break out in scream or laughter?
Funny jokes??Funny people telling really funny jokes?

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Save 3/4 of it in the bank and the rest goes to spending for myself, parents and others.

8. What is your ultimate goal in life
Last time I wanted to be really successful and earn lots of money but now all i want is to grow old happily:)

9. Would you swim in a vat of chocolate?
never, yucks! Ced would probably like this though!

10. What is the stupidest (serious) thing you have ever done?
I did lots of stupid stuff not on purpose but because I`m naturally clumsy.

11. Which type of cars do u love the most?
Wow, never give cars so much thought because I can`t drive eventhough i have a driving license.

I think my passing the driving test was a fluke really.

12. Which do you prefer from your other half? A hug or a kiss?
Love..

13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you, point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
point it out to me...It will hurt a bit but yeah gotta learn from your weaknesses no?

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Famili

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
I shop occasionally

16. What do you like about yourself?
I like my hands. haha, for no particular reason.

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
My shyness, my indecisiveness, laziness

18. What makes you feel disappointed?
when something does not go the way I wanted it to be?

19. If given a chance, do you want to see your future?
Err, yes and no. I`m very curious, so yes but curiosity kills the cat..so no..

20. What’s the best way to die in your opinion?
When you know you have accomplished what u wanted to do in your lifetime, and all your loved ones are beside you, that`s the best way methinks.

politics

2008-07-04T02:03:00.000-07:00

The Malaysian political scene is currently in a disarray with one pihak blaming another pihak. What happened to the muhibbah spirit that we learned in classrooms. What is happening back home?
Sudah hari Jumaat. Masa berlalu cepat.

2008-06-29T06:13:00.001-07:00

-Indiana Jones looked so tired, that`s all I have got to say. Still, watch it la guys.:P
-I like the protagonist in `Norwegian Wood`. Sensitive, well-read, but somewhat reserved..And I did imagine how he would look like if he were a real person. Gosh, I`m obsessive.
-I`m this super lazy bummer who needs to work harder on Maths. Today was like a splash of cold water on my face..when I realized I`d totally forgotten those basic things. (that an engineering student AIN`T supposed to forget). Get working Joceline dammit!
-My friend wanted Spain to win sooo much so I say go GERMANY! Not an inkling of interest in footie though!
-I`m in love with the song by Jyongri-Unchanging Love. Very catchy song, okay!
-I just wanna say sorry for being frustrated with some stuff these past few days. Nowadays I think I`m slowly turning into a worry-wart. Stress about this and that la. As if the world is gonna end if something is not done immediately. Yeah that`s me. Such a sad case, huh.The situation is not helped at all by doing poorly in my exams. Ugh! Why do I let exams dictate who I am and my value as a person. Am I sensing PMS here?
-I like rainy days because they have this sort of sad quality about them. Like tears. But once it`s over, you feel so much better. Crying is actually healing they say. And I believe it because I`m such a crybaby.

hair

2008-06-17T03:17:00.000-07:00

Well, my long locks were really irritating the hell out of me. Too long, split ends, limp, in short...not really healthy looking because of the perm and dye job I had. Yeah of course can do treatment bla3 to revitalise the hair...but I wanted to change my whole look you see. It`s not like I had never cut my hair short before. I had really long hair when I was very very young but once I started schooling I kept it very short. Sort of like bob style cut. But when I was in Form Four, because I wanted to erm, appear more feminine, I grow my hair long. Ok, all stories aside, this is me now with shorter hair! What a breeze...

haruki murakami/prince caspian

2008-06-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

I must study hard, must study harder, from now on. Sigh. Slacking way too much lately.
I bought `Dance dance dance` by Haruki Murakami. People are raving about this author so hmm, I think I should read it and see what is it all about. Can`t always stick to one author only*cough* jodi picoult* cough*
Nothing beats watching a blockbuster in the cinema. And the second installment of Narnia was good, though some might say there are too many eye candies in it. But hey, no complains here. Yeah, I`m shallow like that. Heh..

emo post ahead

2008-06-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

OK this is going to be an emo post because I feel incredibly emo right now. I was restless tonight. I can`t sleep. Might have been due to the fact that I performed quite badly in one particular subject this time around. Strangely though, that was not the main thing hindering me from sleep tonight. Break-ups are painful and difficult for both parties. To move on with your life ain`t easy. It is, more often than not, a long and winding road. Especially if you broke up with someone you are mad about. But anyway that is beside the point of this entry. Having gone through break-ups before, I expected myself to be stronger or somewhat immune to it. But I`m not. I`m pretty fragile deep inside. I cry easily,which is my main problem. I have so many insecurities. I tend to hurt people easily with the words I use. And I envy people who made it through all these years.But for me, I simply just don`t think I can fall in love again. Maybe in the future but I can`t really see it either. Maybe I`m scared, maybe this time around I will guard my heart ever so closely.

FYI, I don`t feel emo 24/7. So do not take this entry to mean that I`m upset, or angry or anything like that. It`S just the way I feel right now. And as usual, feelings change over time. Bye, nites!

movies

2008-06-11T04:17:00.000-07:00

Edit:
Movies I definitely cannot miss
1.Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (need i say more?)
2.Sex and the City (the movie--cause Carrie Bradshaw is in me..hehe)
3.The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (obviously)--->DONE
4.Made of Honor (Mcdreamy, nuff` said)
5.What Happens in Vegas...(Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher-can`t wait to see their chemistry together-romantic comedy is my favourite genre too!)
6.Iron Man
7.21
8.The Other Boleyn Girl(watched this already actually but want to watch again)
9. PS I Love You

narnia

2008-06-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

i want to watch narnia...no not for the prince caspian guy but the brown-eyed Edmund...*drools* yala, yala he`s so very young and I feel like a cradle-snatcher. But oh my gosh, see the armor he`s wearing. My knight in shining armor*big wet shiny eyes*
I always imagined what it would be to be living in those times where men actually wore armor like that to protect their country, wives or land. Ya but those are feudal times I think ,so women are at a disadvantage which is basically not so very nice for the ladies.
Tomorrow-有機化学 and 哲学(yeah this is actually philosophy-dun ask me anything about it..mostly memorization only)

tired

2008-05-31T00:52:00.000-07:00

Swimming makes me feel hungry. after today`s lesson, i bought two onigiri ok. I was THAT hungry. waaahhhh..
Hey remember 911-the boy band? Eh their songs are seriously very nice ok, who want to argue with me on this!!
Baby baby baby please let me have ur private number...
and of course
the day we find love once again (singing)*ducks away because mua singing is veli horrible...Blame it on the lack of musical talent. No, no lack is not the word. It is more like non-existent:P

2008-05-28T05:06:00.000-07:00

I really have no intention of making this blog private. But because of certain circumstances, I gotta do it. Will re-open it to public once it is okay to do so again.

Aikido

2008-05-27T23:56:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was my first lesson..There were some stretching, and sitting and nage and learning how to stand properly so that I`m more prepared for an attack. Not that easy ok. But it really loosened me up. A lot. Mentally and physically. Experienced some muscle pain today but it`S normal la..For someone who don`t do any exercise at all.

2008-05-27T23:48:00.000-07:00

You were there
For summer dreaming
And you gave me
What I need
And I hope you
Find your freedom

For eternity

You were there
For summer dreaming
And you are
A friend indeed
And I hope you
Find your freedom

Eventually

You were there
For summer dreaming
And you gave me
What I need
And I know you'll
Find your freedom
Eventually

For eternity

Robbie Williams

aikido

2008-05-25T05:05:00.000-07:00

This Tuesday..I`m going to go for an aikido lesson. So what is aikido? It is a form of Japanese martial art.For more info, check out Wikipedia. I really am starting to get bored out of my mind studying for exams and all so when Minley (a senior) sorta mentioned it, I thought at first, maybe not going for it coz of the approaching exams. But on second thought, what the heck..just go for it,Joceline. See what happens ok. Not that I badly needed it to protect myself but who knows?

***

Today I tried a senior`s recipe. It turned out looking pretty horrible with badly smashed tofu but yummy!!! It`s egg+tomato+tofu. Simple yet healthy, no?

I`ve been trying very hard to memorize all these formulas for the exams and it is driving me nuts. But I`ll be okay back to normal again soon.

time..more time

2008-05-19T01:56:00.000-07:00

Ok imagine this..Memorizing without understanding...Am i missing something here?
Oh well..I try my best to understand. But, there is always a but, I can`t do it.
I`m talking about my exam preparations here. I do wonder about the reason why I myself strive so hard to get good results. I hope in the end it`s worth the effort...
In another matter entirely, I want to dye my hair black again. But the dye will seriously dry out my hair and makes it appear limp and I hate limp hair!!! I want those bouncy hair that you see in commercial..:P
oh chow for now!

2008-05-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

Some (very!) recent natural disasters sure got some of us out there thinking.Me too included. About how everything seemed so insignificant compared to breathing and living life itself. The ones still here just gotta keep moving on.

recap

2008-04-25T08:42:00.000-07:00

So what is really cooking these day? the days are beginning to feel warmer (uhm I like but not too hot la, you know why)
Today is the day I completed my experiment. I have it every week but because it is a 2-week experiment, that means I only have to pass up my report every other week. But nonetheless, reports are reports. And you can never get enough of it as a kosen student. Kosen=colleges of technology. On top of that, I have a homework to do as well. To be fair, I was very free the past few weeks. I filled up my time watching dramas and movies and reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult(this is the second time I`ve mentioned her eh...go get it if u wanna read it although Nineteen Minutes has a school shooting theme..yeah, remember Columbine?

Random stuff..I saw a boy (5 years of age maybe)today in the ladies` loo. Yeah pretty normal to see boys under the age of 5 years old to enter the ladies` with their moms rite(cause at that age, we pretty much follow our mom everywhere). So I guess quite a number of guys out there(fully grown ones) can say that "I`ve entered the ladies`"..ok lame attempt at a joke. But it was purely an observation.

Yeah chow for now at least..

research

2008-04-24T05:41:00.000-07:00

By early October i will be starting on a research. Which will be guided by a teacher. And I` m having a hard time choosing which teacher. You might say it doesn`t make any difference but it does. Having a great caring teacher is sooooo much better than having a teacher who is probably too shy/less talkative teacher, rite? But what if you have completely no interest in that caring teacher`S research but is more interested in that shy/less talkative teacher`s research. Plus, someone else I`m comfortable talking too (a rarity here) is also planning to enter that shy/less talkative teacher`S research too. How??? I guess in the end I already know who I`m going to choose. Sheesh it`S a secret...guess, people...

2008-04-19T03:46:00.000-07:00

I know i should have updated a long time ago in malaysia. But seriously, my schedule was something like this:kl-kch-miri-sibu-kch-kl-kk-kl in a space of a month. So internet connection was hard to come by. I know I`m giving excuses haha!Well, my mom said no to a certain plan I`ve been cooking up so I guess I have to follow whatever she says. But to my surprise, I find myself rebelled so much less as compared to when I`m 16 or 17 years old. But hopefully, there will be a small consolation regarding that decision.
My resolution this year: less shopping, more exercise, more healthy food! That`s all I can think about now.
I`m very random at times so forgive me. So, now I`m in fourth year of my diploma studies (technically, it is going to be my second year in Japan). Last year I can get by without much pressure in studies but this year, everything is going to get more difficult to comprehend. I rather not dwell on it sometimes. Being part of a rat race is suffocating. But sometimes I`m inevitably sucked into it. I wonder if after finishing my diploma, can I go somewhere else(other country) to study? It is practically unheard of in Japan for JPA scholars, I think. And it surely is gonna cost $$$ on my part.And the whole idea is to save money and how I`m going to save money if I`m going to spend it.T______T I probably will follow the conventional route in the end....
Next up are pics from January`s ski trip and my cousin`s wedding:>Congrats and live happily ever after (though it sounds sooo cliche)

in malaysia

2008-03-05T01:52:00.000-08:00

yes im back in malaysia, it has been like that for about a week..So I spent my days reading, yes u heard me, averaging something like 2-3 days per book. Jodi Picoult, has always been my favourite and I picked up John Grisham's too. Something caught my eye while I was browsing the best seller's section today. Stephen King, Bag of Bones, with a title like that, how could I resist. So, I am now halfway through it (I gotta stop for breaks too you know) and I find his writing overwhelming...But I just need to finish it(you know that feeling.haha,so that qualifies me as a bookworm, I'm happy to join the club anyway. Of course I spent the night at Asyilah's too, gosh i miss her. I know she's busy but she still makes time for me. thank you girl!muaks muaks muaks!!!
oh well, since I have soooooo much time on my hands, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Stop it Joceline, stop the thinking, go out and enjoy the sunshine!!! Yeah i told myself that so many many times but I still can't help it. At this point in my life, I am considered extremely blessed. I have parents who care for me, an opportunity to further my studies in a country so vastly different from my own, friends, not many of them, but ones I have,they are great people, and everything to look forward too this coming summer. So you can see by my posts, that yes I tend to think too much on life in general but that doesn't mean I can't let my hair down too. It's just that I need something to bring out the best in me(cehwah like Blue's "Best in Me" pulak)And I make sure I count my blessings everyday.
The pics will be up soon if I got time (I have plenty of it thank you) but my cousin's wedding is around the corner so yeah I'm going to be pretty preoccupied with that for the moment. Tata..

backstreet`S back

2008-02-16T18:48:00.000-08:00

The concert was last night. It was AWESOME!!!!!! They sang their old hits and songs from their newest album and they still got it all together. Kevin left the band sometime ago so yeah a bit sad to hear that but still a nice show. Can`t get any pics tho because here in Japan, snapping pictures are prohibited and considered rude because the flashes disturb the whole experience i guess. So, no pictures except the stage before their performance:( Will upload after exam ok? Yeah but it was totally great. For 2 whole hours I was like maybe 200 metres away from them and the stage is that far..It is held Tokyo Dome, a huge baseball stadium!! Anyway, that concludes everything for tonight. I`m very tired but it was a blast!

happy valentine`s day

2008-02-13T20:40:00.000-08:00

i took a break from studying for exams (in fact, i wasn`t even really studying these few days..partly because I kept thinking about going back home:P)
well it is valentine`S day today...i still remember the tradition back in my secondary school. One group of students wanting to make money would organize something like dedications, chocolate giving stuff...So if u fancy a girl or a boy, u tell them about it and what do you wanna send to that person u fancy..and they would arrange everything for you at a price of course but it was not that expensive. I sent one or two chocolates or bookmark, I can`t really remember but I never received these sort of stuff:( I so wanted someone to send it to me that i actually thought of buying it myself pretending that it was from my secret admirer...but yeah as i watched my friends receive them of course i felt jealous and all..but yeah thinking back, LOL, it was funny..But oh well, in Japan it is the girl`s duty to give gifts here to their crush. Strange but true. I guess in a way it`s cute.
Happy Valentine`s day everyone. Tell the person you love that you love them, be it your friends or family or boy/girl friend husbands/wives...Whoever it is, spread the love...muaahhhh, XOXO..ok anyone close to me will know I cut off chocolates from my diet completely already since they caused me acne last time and I used to consume a lot during my good skin days(ahh secondary school)..but for today, i make an exception..i`m going to buy something for myself..:)

2008-02-01T19:45:00.000-08:00

i edited the song bcoz now I`m feeling beatle-ish
so guys here goes...my favourite at this moment
if i fell...:P:P:P

and guess what, it snowed heavily this morning...pics will be up when im back in malaysia, don`t worry!!!

2008-01-30T01:05:00.000-08:00

hehehe, ok i`m continuing this anyway. But I really dunno what to write about nowadays. Well, if u want to hear me whine about the exams, which I`m sure isn`t something you all wanna hear. Or the fact that I have a presentation up next monday in japanese. Which I haven`t started preparing for yet. And how everything is so confusing to me(organic chem) I seriously am running out of ideas here...
edit: there is this new musical called across the universe featuring beatles` songs...I MUST watch this!!

:P

2008-01-26T08:25:00.000-08:00

Last nite i was listening to blue non-stop. yes, it is that band Blue. More specifically, the boyband Blue. Haha, I know a friend of mine was crazy about Blue once and now i finally agree with him that their songs are actually nice. Ok la, I know I am in this crazy mood right now that is into those boyband type of songs. Why do they go away? I mean except Backstreet Boys(whose concert I`m attending in 3 week`s time!!) the rest is poof..gone...
I`m thinking of reverting back to posting up pics only..Maybe I`ve lost the enthusiasm to blog..

2008-01-22T03:38:00.000-08:00

I cried yesterday. Hate this feeling. But after waking up this morning i felt refreshed again:)
And ready again to start the day. Aih, life oh life oooohhh life ooh life dudududu
Sometimes maybe it is good to reflect back on the past but sometimes you gotta be strong and tell yourself, even if it hurts, that u can`t change anything about the past.
******
And I wanna say thank you to ash for buying me the lovely pink/purple pencil box. Yay, now we have identical pencil box. It is soooo nice and sweet!!
******
And thank you for the cd,shirt, and card. It made my day:)

our song

2008-01-21T04:48:00.000-08:00

cheeky song but i cannot stop listening to it..how???

2008-01-19T18:24:00.000-08:00

-i baked sponge cake yesterday
-ate a super delicious krispy kreme for the first time yesterday
so that is yesterday and what about my plans for today? organic chemistry...study and revise it,I have a lot to cover this time around:(
I just can`t wait to go back home. When I am back home I will post up more pics because well, I left the connection wires back at home and I dun have any memory card reader::
Plans when I`m back...visit KL`s latest shopping malls! And probably visit ppktj...ahhh those days. OK back to the present..busy days revising for exams ahead!Chow!

sweet valley

2008-01-17T05:52:00.000-08:00

I remember sweet valley. how could i not? at one time, reading and buying sweet valley novels meant the world to me. And i could not live without them, literally. I started reading around the age of 10 and by the time I am 12 year old, almost EVERY girl in my school was hooked. So basically, books swapping and books getting lost in the process, namely sweet valley novels, were abundant during those days in primary school. It was really THE must read book for us girls. We drool over Todd Wilkins and many many other "hotties" in the book, we were simply curious young teenagers wanting to find out about the trials and tribulations of Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield. I remember those days well. I`m more of the Elizabeth type..I think when i go back home for spring break, I shall pick up a Sweet Valley book to read, just for old time`s sake. And reminisce about those days:)

hmm

2008-01-16T21:51:00.000-08:00

so yeah what have i been up to these past few days? lots actually
first, i watched gossip girl online. and yeah it`s a bimbo show but i like it that way. Besides the totally gorgeous looking cast(Nate, gasp!) and outfits(when will i be able to afford those designer brands huh?)
and there was a light snowfall early this morning. very very light in fact. :) Next week I`ll be going on a ski trip on Wednesday!
I`m pondering on whether to buy something for myself. For my own guilty pleasure. A Nintendo DS Lite. My biggest fear is that it will go to waste but I`ve been thinking about it non-stop. And guess what, exams are in 3 weeks time!!! And a week after that I`m going back again! That explains why I am in no mood at all for classes when usually I like going to school because it keeps me busy and not bored.

nonsensical ramblings

2008-01-10T05:10:00.000-08:00

one day if i ever buy a house on my own, i want my best friend to live beside me. ash-ey:)
so we can go shopping together on weekends, talk for hours, have sleepovers and basically just see each other everyday. and life would be perfect.LOL. me dreaming again...

:P

2008-01-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

There is this feeling inside me right now which I can`t really describe. And writing about it here will be sort of weird. There are some things I would still like to keep to myself i guess.
Family and friends are important, that i realize now. It is so true especially when u are going through a rough patch in ur life.
You know when you are young and immature, you tend not to see little details in your life. You only concentrate on the big picture and you fail to see what really matters. Now this year, as I am turning 21, I really want to be wiser in the decisions I take. Grow up, as they say but keep a bit of the forever young spirit in you. :)

song

2008-01-04T18:46:00.000-08:00

Nice right this song?
The lyrics, melody, everything!
Lyrics:
※Baby boy わたしはここにいるよどこもいかずに待ってるよ
You know dat I love you だからこそ心配しなくていいんだよ
どんなに遠くにいても変わらないよこの心
言いたい事わかるでしょ?
あなたのこと待ってるよ※

不器用な俺遠くにいる君
伝えたい気持ちそのまま言えずに君は行っちまった
いまじゃ残された君はアルバムの中
電波でしか会えない日々たけど見えないぜ君の微笑み
君のぬくもり髪の香りこののどの渇きはそのまま満たされずに
過ぎてく日々の中なんだか君の面影ひたすら探した
君とよく歩いたあの道は今俺だけの足音が響いていた
んなことよりお前の方は元気か? ちゃんと飯食ってるか?
ちくしょう、やっぱ言えねえや
また今度送るよ俺からのLetter

(※くり返し)

鎌倉の砂浜で見た君の姿波にのまれた君に言いたい言葉
なんだかマジせつねぇ男なのになんで…言葉出てこねぇや
覚えてますか?君と行ったカラオケの中
俺が入れた曲の言葉モニターに浮かんだまま
ほんとは君に伝えたかった
君と二人きりで初めて待ち合わせをしたあの日
まるで偶然に会ったかのようにはしゃぎ
微笑む君が忘れられないって
話かなりそれちまったがわかるよな?俺が言いたい言葉
S**t 残り書く場所がねえや
ごめん次は絶対に送るから

(※くり返し)

俺がもっと金持ちだったらもっとまともな仕事をしてたら
もしもすべて犠牲にできたのなら俺は絶対に君を…
だがPlease勘違いだけはすんな君に寂しい思いはさせたくねぇが
忙しい中あんま話せねぇが
baby believe これは all for our future
But 正直今すぐ君と会いたい今すぐ抱きしめてやりたい
昔君が俺の隣で座ってた席にはもう誰もいないって…
まぁそんな事はいいんだ言いたいことはそんなんじゃねぇんだ
いまさらだがずっと言いたかった言葉を込め送るUnsent letter

Baby girl わたしはここにいるよどこもいかずに待ってるよ
You know dat I love you だからこそ心配しなくていいんだよ
どんなに遠くにいても変わらないよこの心
言いたい事わかるでしょ?
あなたのこと待ってるよ

Baby boy わたしはここにいるよどこもいかずに待ってるよ
You know I love you だからこそ心配しなくていいんだよ
どんなに遠くにいても変わらないよこの心今なら素直に言えるよ
I don't eva wanna let you go

english translation:
Baby boy I am over here Waiting and not going anywhere Just here waiting for you
You know dat I love you As such do not worry
No matter how far you go This heart of mine will not change
You should know what I want to say
I am waiting for you

The useless me The distant you
The words that I want to say were not even said and you left already
What's left behind now is only your photo album
On days of only wired communication Could not see your smile
Your warmth The fragrance of your hair This thirsty throat that could not be satiated
Everyday that passes All I do was searching madly for your face
The streets that I strolled with you are now only filled with the sound of my footsteps
No matter how Are you well? Have you eaten well?
Annoying Still I can't say it out
Next time I will send my letter

Baby boy I am over here Waiting and not going anywhere Just here waiting for you
You know dat I love you As such do not worry
No matter how far you go This heart of mine will not change
You should know what I want to say
I am waiting for you

At Kamamura's beach I watched your silhoutte The words I wanted to say were swallowed by the waves
I feel really pitiful...I'm a guy...yet I couldn't speak up...
Do you still rememember? I went to the karaoke with you
The lyrics of the song that I chose It showed plainly on the screen
Actually are words that I wanted to transmit them to you
The first time we waited for each other on that date
That shy smile of yours as though I bumped into you I did not forget to mention
What I said seemed to be unrelated Could you understand? What I meant to say
S**t No place to write it
Excuse me Next time I would definitely send it to you

If I were slightly richer If I were to have a job of some sort
If everything is sacrificed Then I would definitely ...
But please do not mistaken I definitely am not trying to make you feel lonely
At the moment I am a bit busy I can't say too much But baby believe all this all for our future
But truthfully Now I really want to see you Now I want to hold you
In the past the seat where you sat next to me is no longer occupied
Ha All this is still fine What I want to say is the following
Right now All that I want to say I would input them in
Send Unsent letter

Baby girl I am over here Waiting and not going anywhere Just here waiting for you
You know dat I love you As such do not worry
No matter how far you go This heart of mine will not change
You should know what I want to say
I am waiting for you

Baby boy I am over here Waiting and not going anywhere Just here waiting for you
You know dat I love you As such do not worry
No matter how far you go This heart of mine will not change
Now you could be straight forward and tell me
I don't eva wanna let u go
You should know what I want to say
Waiting for you

new year

2007-12-31T00:31:00.000-08:00

ok here goes my new year resolutions
1-let my hair down more
2-go to Europe
3-i cant think of anything else
i suck at making resolutions anyway coz i never keep them. Tomorrow I will shop till I drop, yay!!!
It is fukubukuro time in japan where they have these things packed into boxes/shopping bags so u can`t see them and they will sell it at a much much much cheaper price than the original...and tada, if ur lucky, u might find something u like...and I am aiming for clothes, accessories and anything I happen to like. Yesterday I saw this HUGE bag containing probably LOTSA beautiful clothes and it is sold at 5000 yen only. Ok ok, I will write about it tomorrow if I manage to get nice ones and if i don`t, well, I`m gonna mourn about it also. If only they pack like uhmm, 6 feet tall, dark-brown haired guy in Armani suit with the most intense brown eyes ever into packages also huh? Don`t laugh k peeps..hehe..

so, the trip to Europe, I haven't given much thought about it actually..humm...I need a partner, anyone?
Nah, just kidding.

And I wanna go back home to Malaysia!!! I miss it so much. I`m cooped up in the hostel for New Year`s Eve, oh no! I`m turning 21 next year...oh my oh my...I still feel 19 actually..:(

christmas

2007-12-24T06:16:00.000-08:00

christmas time is here!!
and i am supposed to wake up early for church tomorrow!.Well, on wednesday I'm having not only one but two dates with old friends! Lunch and dinner...expect me to come back all fattened up yeah coz it is the festive season and I am gonna eat as much as I can!!
I really miss home...wish i dont have to back to japan this friday:(
Anyway, I woke up this morning telling myself, no more being a slouch! I dressed myself nicely, put on concealer, some lip gloss, my contacts, and waxed my hair....and I just feel so good today. Usually, most of the time I would neglect my appearance but not today..

It is almost too fast. Like the speed of light. Why is the timing always like this. It keeps repeating itself time after time. I must stop this vicious cycle. Why in that place, out of the blue? How did you know? Did you sense my sadness?

a day before going back home

2007-12-19T22:49:00.000-08:00

wow...it has been like 8 months since i first arrived in Japan. Little did I know how my life would turn out that time. When I first arrived, I was happy, sad,excited...mixed emotions. Everything looked so promising, so rosy....
But Japan is not all that. Yes, sure, it opened my eyes to new things. I entered a public bath, I shopped a lot, I cooked on my own for the first time(!!), I traveled around Japan`s famous spots.

Sometimes when I think back about the yesteryears..
There are some things that I wish I had not said..There are some things I wish I could take it back..
Make it much better. Undo it. And every time my I cry, thinking about how to get through the night, every single memory that crossed my mind, every hurdle life has thrown at me.
I`m thankful for every scar, visible or invisible, because it made me much stronger. And I am probably the weakest person you will ever know. But there is no easy way out. I learned it the hard way last time. And maybe just maybe some signs I ignored, opportunities I passed on, people I hurt without intention. But it is all in the past. And I can`t go back in time to erase it.
But like what someone said to me, mistakes cannot be erased easily. I can`t say that I won`t make the same mistakes anymore. But I will try.And now I`m taking baby steps to be me again.The road might be long and winding, or short and easy who knows, but I know now I am heading there...
And thanks to my Mom and Dad..who truly loves me, supports me. Thanks for standing by me, cheering me up when I`m down. I used to rebel a lot but now I realize you did it out of love. And i do love you both a lot. Also to my friends who supported me and loved me through it all..

2007-12-17T23:31:00.000-08:00

Your smile is almost too familiar
Your scent, well, u smell fresh, almost like a baby
And your eyes, they are cute, too cute in fact
I really want to see your eyelashes ( a bit scary yeah who cares? I like eyelashes, fake or otherwise)
And your fingers, will they hold mine tight..or will the grasp loosen if I hold yours?
And the way you wrote the way you sit the way u moisten ur lips, they remind me too much of someone who held my heart once...

The thing above is just something i created. Don`t jump to conclusions, guys.
I imagined it all in my head. Yeah, pathetic but what to do..
Syilah if ur reading this, Ikuta Toma has a new drama..hehehe...I think la..
I`m fine in fact.
I`m going back home this weekend, yay!!
ok back to reports...

dunno wut title

2007-11-29T00:27:00.000-08:00

today i think i did not do too well on my inorganic chem paper...i overlooked the small details...didn't memorize them cause i thought it was unimportant but alas... very very disappointed with myself actually...yup, that is why today i pay attention to small details. hopefully tomorrow will be much better...fingers crossed..

i tend to think too much..become too emotional at times. Last night i called my bestie, Syilah and we talked for 20 minutes only. Blame it on the distance. I wish international calls are cheaper.
We can talk like for hours, me and her, especially now that we don't get to talk everyday. Aih, i miss her.

Currently listening to Daughtry in my Ipod. Yeah, I like the angst. Now I particularly feel like taking a shower. I like showers. Nothing is as therapeutic as a shower. A long, HOT shower especially during cold days like these. Ofuro is also heavenly but not today, I need to be alone
to think.

mito

2007-08-26T04:56:00.000-07:00

climbed tsukuba hill(well actually rode on a cable car to near the top of the hill and then climbed on foot just a bit more to reach the top)
view from the top

what i did in mito:soba-making (it is a type of noodle)
the finished product!

ghibli studio(mitaka)

2007-08-26T04:51:00.000-07:00

huge monster behind me

yokohama

2007-08-16T04:42:00.000-07:00

yokohama's chinatown

tokyo disneyland

2007-08-16T04:17:00.001-07:00

kyoto

2007-08-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

Kinkakuji Temple-this temple is made from gold

universal studios japan

2007-08-11T02:23:00.000-07:00

yummy turkey
jurassic park
jaws-boring ride!
hollywood dream-the best ride ever!!! although i almost chickened out but i am glad i didn`t coz this is the highlight of USJ, IMHO..
peace!
the big, revolving globe of USJ
Spiderman
hello shrek
my personal fav:dancing hello kittys

kamakura

2007-07-30T05:34:00.000-07:00

the beach is not that superb but the other places in Kamakura made up for that:)

kamakura

2007-07-29T06:03:00.000-07:00

Kamakura is this peaceful, quiet tiny seaside town in Japan but filled with temples...and I actually really liked it...the pictures say it all.

disneysea

2007-07-27T19:55:00.001-07:00

this was before the parade started

and TADA! so many sea monsters came out from hiding!

the night parade=gorgeous!
my tired face after walking non-stop but i enjoyed it!

the sights i saw during this ride=superb
i din't get to visit this area because disneysea is too huge!
remember aladdin? yup, he lives here!

2007-07-24T06:40:00.001-07:00

tomorrow i'll post more pics of disneysea, yokohama and kamakura(yes, the Great Buddha lies here)

disneysea pics

2007-07-24T06:08:00.001-07:00

mickey

DISNEYSEA!!!

2007-07-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day of my summer holidays...and I went to Disneysea Japan...
and there is only one word to describe it-AMAZING!!!!!!! and romantic...I think i will be going there again the next holidays..i stayed from 10.30 am till 8.30pm and it was non-stop walking the whole day..and running too at one point:P But I had lotsa fun, the night parade was magnificent..fireworks was lovely. The night parade was the definitely the highlight of the day...the music, the fireworks, the water fountain! It was unforgettable and definitely one of the best days of my life. I will post up pics later..ciao!!

summer festival at hanyuu

2007-07-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

last weekend there was a summer festival at hanyuu...my friend's hometown. since i have no idea what it is all about..i thought i might as well go and experience it..:P anyway on that day i actually forgot to bring my camera along(yikes!!) so i have to take the pics using my handphone's camera( 2.0 megapixels only)... and the quality is obviously much lousier but well that really doesn't bother me at all..there was this thing called "omikoshi"....look at the above pics where the men are carrying something on their shoulders..it is believed that the gods are sitting on it.

more nikko pics

2007-06-23T22:57:00.000-07:00

the farming area

the lake

the temple

with classmates

The nikko trip was really nice. There were temples from the olden days and the beautiful Kegon Waterfalls...and the roasted meat..and milky ice-cream. Although i was really tired the following day but it was worth it. The whole place was just like something out of a postcard...spectacular!

Nikko trip-Kegon Waterfalls

2007-06-23T22:14:00.000-07:00